Monday, 28 December 2020

Smashing Through Adjectives

Are you big boned? Are you really?


For years, being naturally muscular, and having the ability to put on weight by smelling a cupcake, I have fluctuated between slender, curvy, voluptuous and just plain fat.


Speaking to my mom, who thinks I am bordering now on anorexic (with 26% body fat), I believe a large part of the problem is this 'big boned' label we allow ourselves. 


Please don't get me wrong: you can be any size you want. I'm not judging. You can view yourself with any positive label at any weight you are comfy with - I have no beef with that. This post, however, is an objective view of "big boned" from a researched scientific point of view based on the fitness community (their research not their opinions).


For me losing weight was hard for a different reason. I often skit around around a UK12/medium (which for my bone structure is still heavy - around 76kg - but looks quite slender due to muscle tone). The problem is, I have always gotten away with being a 12 because it looks 'thin enough'. On top of being comfy with average, there is the label we have been throwing around our family since teen years - big boned.

 

Last year, I decided I wanted to have a lot more muscle definition. I turned 40 and just wanted, for once, to have the body I have always wanted - not the slender girls from the films, but the muscular, strong athletic frame of Michelle Rodriguez in Resident Evil, or Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 (hey, don't knock my references, I'm from the 80s). 

 

I was getting ready, listening to the radio last year - a week before my birthday. An advert came on asking: where do you yourself in 40 years? I sat pondering for a moment, before realising - in terms of average life expectancy - I'd be dead. Now, the women in my family live forever, so I was being a bit melodramatic but it made me realise: I'm 40. It's now or never, cupcake.

 

So I joined a bootcamp program, 3 days a week. I was delighted when I lost another 5kgs and dropped to 25% body fat. My aim was to get into the healthy weight range, so even though I didn't exactly look like I could kick the shit out of The Terminator, I looked nice enough to pull a fair few compliments and a few "Oh my god - what have you been doing?". And therefore rinse and repeat. I looked good enough and better than usual good enough.

 

Then lockdown happened. Lots of us share the story: the weight started to creep on again. Within 4 months I'd lost all the 'gains' and gone back to my pre bootcamp body and a fair bit of the weight.

 

After lockdown, I got a fire under my ass big time. I started this hybrid program at my gym when it reopened. They use a mixture of weights and techniques, with mixed muscle moves with many reps. It's all on screen which is great for me because I'm not an exercise type Sheena screaming in my ear while the music blasts and someone screams at you to work harder type person. I'm 41 now, you know. It is however very high intensity exercise and the results I've seen recently have been incredible. I've never looked so close to my perfect vision of my well defined self in all my life.

 

My problem was - sticking to the calories wasn't great - and now and again not having direction meant I was spinning between giving myself a break for being "big boned/curvy" and "slender enough - and being able to almost taste where I want to be. The issue is going between the two - having no vision - means there are too many excuses and justifications I allowed myself - and therefore the spinning continued.

 

Then I realised that size is a label that is going to be different for everyone, depending on their context. For example, I spoke to a few people last week from my family. They couldn't believe I only weighed 71kg now. For me, in my personal opinion of myself against where I want to be, I still have too much fat. For my mom, I am small. For my son, who is a hench rugby player, 71kg was 'good'.

 

So how do you understand this vision? What exactly is an acceptable weight at big boned? According to the NHS BMI scale I am 20kg over weight. If you know me in real life, you will find this laughable. I am a UK10/Small. If I compare myself to a body fat chart, I have a while to go.

 

Then it hit me. If I know what my desired body fat is, and I work out my current body fat, the calculation of big boned is easy. And that would provide me with a vision - and end to my personal 'I'm curvy and therefore it's acceptable for me to carry a touch extra'. 

 

Again, people. I am giving my own personal opinion on my own body here - you fly your curvy flags as high as you want them. I'm not judging.

 

Enter the algebra. I swear to God this took me about a half hour to work out. I thought I was going to throw my phone across the room at one point during calculations. I am a humble teacher of English literature - maths is a strange, rigid subject that eludes me with it's need to be exactly accurate with no wiggle room for creativity. 

 

So here's my formula for "big boned". 

 

First of all, get a body fat photo collage with percentages. I used this:


Then go onto a body fat calculator site (having yourself professionally measured would be even better). Work out what your current body fat is. I used this site  
https://www.calculator.net/body-fat-calculator.html.  You'll need a tape measure and your current weight.

 

Once you have that, the fun starts: you now need to do the algebra - fun! Hey, if I can work it out, anyone can. This site here has the torturous formula - scroll down to "Body Fat Calculator". 

 https://www.verywellfit.com/how-to-use-body-fat-percentage-calculator-3858855

After many mistakes, wrong numbers and getting my signs mixed up, I finally got to the crux of the exact figure I needed to be exactly where I want to be: I need to lose 7.58kgs exactly. 

 

It seems so easy now. So obtainable. No longer am I at the mercy of "good enough" or "voluptuous" or "Marilyn Monroe was a size 12". I now know exactly what my goal is and how long approximately it will take me to get there.

 

If anyone out there is struggling with focus, give it a shot. It has given me a factual and actual number to what is actually considered "athletic" for a big boned girl blessed with naturally muscular frame. 

 

Although I will always have (and absolutely love my curves) my goal weight is 63.75kg. The end of 'big boned' now has a face and a name. His name is 7.59kg.

 

I hope this helps anyone else in my position! And anyone out there, perfectly happy with their bootyliciousness - good on you!  You go, Glen Coco!

https://giphy.com/gifs/filmeditor-mean-girls-movie-l2YWwAjBwZdjxIXBe



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